he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
