You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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