I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
