drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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