She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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