I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
