was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
