so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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