is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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