Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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