I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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