hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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