i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
