Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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