tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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