I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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