I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
