hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
