your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
pray to the hookup gods
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize