We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I believe in your delicious
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
