i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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