I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
