Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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