Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
