Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There's always time for handjobs
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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