What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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