pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
