You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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