So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
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There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
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I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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