literally had 100 drinks last night.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize