So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
