Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
