my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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