you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
