My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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