i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
