Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
