I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
