i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
