Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He did a backflip because drugs
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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