In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
