: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
