found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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