did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
