can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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