"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
