i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
