whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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