It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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