So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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