Have you finally orgasmed yet?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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