I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
