i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
