so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
