At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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