I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
