Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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