Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
