You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Say something about gay babies.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
