Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
