Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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